10 SIMPLE WAYS TO GET MARRIED IN 10 DAYS FLAT!
E shock you abi?
The rate at which bachelors and spinsters want to get hitched is quite high, but one may ask, who doesn’t want to get married?
The simple truth is that finding the right partner is much more difficult lately than it used to be but the hunger to get married seems to outweigh the consequences of making the wrong choice of partner.
I wouldn’t want to generalize this notion on the side of ladies because it takes two to tango. So, in the quest for making the search and the hitch easier for both parties, I bring forth this piece.
Not only would this piece give you a shocker but you will definitely like it. It is a mixture of Queen’s English and our own local English (pidgin), so feel free to LOL.
1. Propose:
All marriages start with a proposal. The method of proposal whether conventional, exotic, local or archaic is irrelevant. Just propose to your old time crush, no need looking further.
There’s always a he or she available if you are serious about getting married. You should have started doing the mathematics by now in measuring your prospects and your chances of success; anyone that scores 60% or above is excellent and good to go.
This is not restricted to men alone. For Christ’s sake, why do we even think that women can’t propose to men?
Women that always cry about equality, but all of a sudden goes dumb when it comes to proposing to guys.
You can never read people’s mind except you are psychic, so what is stopping you my sister from shooting your shot?
There’s a high chance he will say Yes and in less than 10 days he would have brought his people to come meet your parents for introduction, you done marry be that oo!
2. Get her pregnant:
Do you even need me to buttress this point here?
It is self-explanatory unless you don’t watch Nollywood movies. Only then can I permit a small explanation.
Brother, if you love her so much and two of you done dey do the do ever since, now you wan marry am, abeg don’t hesitate, score that goal, she won’t have any option again than to support you meeting her parents with her full chest and breast.
In less than 10 days, just call Eminent Media for your wedding media coverage. Gbam!
3. Get him to spend:
Talking of spending, I don’t mean Sharwama, Coldstone or conventional Shopping; in fact men periodically and randomly sponsor such stomach infrastructural development just for p**sy.
So, I advise you to have a career or business you can get him to spend on, by so doing he will see you as a wife material who is hardworking and someone who knows her onion.
This point is not restricted to women alone. A man can be in such a position too when the woman has more than enough to assist him if he needs help.
Hence, with such financial commitment, it will be tough for him/her to Japa. Rather he/she would want to watch you grow and succeed.
Anyways, all things being equal, in less than 10 days, get ready to see his/her parents and marriage done kick-start be that ooh.
4. Get your mum involved:
This may sound awkward but we all know the value of African mothers. They are the greatest influencers you can ever think of.
So, once you let her know of your intentions of getting married and you are damn serious about that, worry no more- mom got your back. It works like magic; you would find out that the wife you have longed for has been doing push-ups getting ready to take you to the Altar since 1900.
For the women, I won’t want to go deep there, but we all know that their prayers are fire brand.
On the negative side, her badmouthing and ginger can land you into a proposal in less than 10 days. Lol.
Just get her involved, that’s just it.
5. Pluck off one of her eyes:
Mehn!
I don’t even have to talk more on this. If you feel like you are so desperate and also can’t risk losing her, just find a way to start a fight and beat the girl until you pluck off one of her eyes.
This one na wholesale you go carry am.
10 days even too much, na from phone her kinsmen go even begin give you marriage list.
But shaa, if you wan marry, e better to avoid domestic vawulence (in Brainjotter’s voice).
6. Imagination:
We have heard of how imagination can become reality. The motivational speakers would be like, “If you think it, you can achieve it”. It works ooo!
No jokes, when R. Kelly sang, I believe I can fly; people actually flew. Many people done dey fly already shaa; whether na private jet, economy or by winchy winchy sef.
So, begin to imagine yourself a married man or woman, see yourself in that realm and in 10 days or less you would have attracted and manifested your soul-mate and the rest will be history.
7. Have Money:
Do you need a prophet to tell you about this one?
Money they say answereth all things.
Don’t mind some religious ladies and slay queens saying; “he can’t get me with his money… money doesn’t freak me… bla bla bla” Lori iro!
Let me ask, this Buhari economy no reach your side? Abi your papa be CBN Governor?
My brother, please have money oo! It is very important.
In less than 10 days if you are serious about getting married, follow the instructions I dey give you, one must enter, sure bet.
Just hit the nail on the head by proposing to her, if you never see her, meet your mama, just imagine am and you fit get am.
For the ladies too, have money as well, e fit attract some kind man to you. Then use generosity and humility snatch the man go meet your papa.
This topic get plenty explanations but make you figure others out jare.
8. Listen to your Daddy G.O:
Let us not shy away from this known truth because we can’t read minds neither can we see the future. Often time we need some spiritual guidance to confirm our decisions in the realm of the spirit.
This is where your Daddy G.O go dey in charge. I am not saying their validation is always 100% but them dey try sometimes.
If you are so serious or you are in a haste to get hitched, just carry him or her go meet your pastor, he fit add some scores to the mathematics you done dey do since, like upping her mark from 50% to 70% or e fit be minus self. In that case, you go bring another until your quest is approved.
Make no mistake, marriage is also a spiritual thing as much as it is physical. But on this subject, you are on your own with the decision you make because most self acclaimed Men of God or Daddy G.Os are nothing to write home about.
If you are lucky to have a good one, na sure bet be that.
9. Swear With Your Life:
Me sef no know wetin enter my brain way make me think this one.
But whatever em be; my brother, my sister, just swear say you go marry.
Swear say pesin son go find you, and in less than 10 days you fit done Japa with am go abroad because as you think am like that, Naija is not for you, hooha!
10. Use Kayan-Mata:
E done red be that, unto say you no fit hold body again, to marry done dey do you like say you smoke Igbo (weed).
Na WWE Extreme Rules be this part. This kind desperation dey like OBJ 3rd term agenda, you fit go to our next article and see if you fit use Kayan-Mata or you fit get another option wey you go explore.
For now enjoy and I hope say you been get one or two gboozaa wey fit transform your agenda for marital tori.
Legal Disclaimer: This should not be taken as professional advice. Kindly do your own research. Eminent Magazine and all affiliated entities cannot and shall not be held liable for any reaction or outcome whatsoever that results from following any of the recommendations above.
1O THINGS KAYAN-MATA CAN’T DO FOR YOU, YOU HAVE TO DO THEM YOURSELF
Often time we tend to look outside for solutions to our problems whilst the answer lies within us. Imagine going to the hospital to request for oxygen whereas you can breathe absolutely fine.
In this case, most people don’t know the power they possess, instead of putting in the work, they prefer getting help from someone else claiming to have a magic wand.
Love is power itself, the universe recognizes emotions as being powerful especially love and attraction. I will assume you know what Kayan-Mata is.
In a nutshell you can term it Love potion or “Talk and Do”.
So, there are 10 things you should consider first before even contemplating going extreme with Kayan-Mata.
1. Measure of Love:
Before you contemplate the use of Kayan-Mata, consider how much you love him/her and how much he/she loves you too.
It works naturally if your partner loves you so much, then you can ask or make demands of him/her and they would oblige without a question.
Just earn his/her love and you won’t need the stress or financial waste patronizing Kayan-Mata dealers.
The bigger the love, the harder it is to resist.
2. Topnotch Bedmatics:
If you need to study in the school of KamaSutra to be a pro in your matrimonial bed or in your partner’s bed, then it is all worth it.
Good sex deserves good compliments.
In fact, this is the most vital area in this topic, and both men and women can be so intimidating with their professionalism.
You must have heard of stories where a lady simply refuses to breakup with her boyfriend in an abusive relationship just because the guy is too good in bed.
Also, you must have heard of men who got caught up in marriage with a lady just because her p**sy was so sweet that he couldn’t trade it for anything else.
These stories are not myths, it happens every day. In fact, it will take only the heavens to free such a man or woman from such illusive bondage.
Just know what your partner loves during sex and give him/her an overdose of it.
You can talk about it openly and know each other’s sexual fantasy and when you successfully master them, add some flavours to it so serve as an icing on the cake.
Wherever your partner is, he or she would have you occupying their thoughts first hand. Though men are seemingly polygamous but they never forget that p**sy with the original NAFDAC number.
3. Grace in Speech:
This one is more focused on the ladies. The way you speak and the tone of your voice contributes so much in attracting a guy and getting him to do your bidding.
All you need is a random experimentation if you are yet to identify your lips prowess.
Ensure you pour encomiums on him from time to time, not necessarily everyday but sometimes, especially when you are not trying to get something from him. Just praise him and leave your request for another day.
Often times, he may even be the one to ask you to make a request or get you a surprise gift or something of that sort. The attention he would be giving you would be unequalled because your own validation is an energy booster than any other he can get outside.
So, I wish you good luck in your speech!
4. Grace in Appearance:
It is said cleanliness is next to godliness.
I can also tell you categorically that your seductive/desirable appearance can take your partner to cloud nine.
Believe me, at such ‘heavens’ whatever you say or want is in the ‘holy book’ and must come to pass.
Meanwhile, I advise you to discover the kind of appearances that trips him or her though. This is where your fashion sense and your facial countenance comes to bear.
5. Generosity:
There is power in generosity; giving has always proven to be the fastest way of getting someone’s heart and attention except in very rare cases.
So, try using a gift, try going the extra mile by doing the things that haven’t been done before for him/her.
The more you give, the more you receive.
It is not necessarily a bank breaking exercise, just anything extra or like they say, doing the ordinary thing in an extraordinary way and get him/her dancing to your music.
6. Wisdom:
Do I need to remind you the benefits of wisdom?
Wisdom is not common; so many people lack it and can only be given by God alone. You need wisdom to know how and when to get your partners attention.
Steady communication and sharing will make it a lot easier to know him very well to be informed about the things to ask, when to ask and how to ask.
7. Intuition:
Just like wisdom, it is a spiritual thing.
You need to be attentive to your spirit at all times, it doesn’t lie at all. That inner voice is what is called intuition. So, being intuitive will not only boost your relationship but advance your whole life in general.
8. Be a good cook:
I guess you need to hear this from your ancestors directly.
As a woman, the ability to make mouth-watering dishes is one essential superpower God furnished you with naturally.
At the moment, it doesn’t matter if you are an award winning cook or not, just be a good cook, and keep learning and getting better. Just like every other skill, you can learn it and practice it to perfection.
The ability to make palatable dishes will crown every other point mentioned above and make the man of your dreams all yours. In fact, it can land you that ‘Dubai Visa’ you have been longing for.
9. Be Innovative:
Creativity is the breath of existence. If humans cease to create, they might as well cease to exist.
Innovation is also a spice of life. In your relationship, try doing something new. It has this magic wand of revitalizing and rejuvenating the fire of romance.
Such little gestures like gifting, outings, surprises, new bedmatic styles, etc. It doesn’t happen every day, they are not common at all.
That is why whenever it surfaces, the moments are cherished. I can’t buttress all the areas in your relationship you need to add some flavours to and be creative with, but one thing is sure, creativity would definitely breathe in life into your relationship that can give you the leverage to be favoured by your partner.
10. Be Naughty:
The last but not the least.
You don’t have to bring in your religious mindset into this point. In fact, you should have heard this good tiding often from the pulpit.
These acts are considered a little bit “indecent” judging with the description it came with: Naughty.
Release that small animal inside you and chop life to the fullest with your partner.
It will be very hard for him/her to contemplate cheating knowing a ‘whore’ is peacefully waiting at home to devour him/her when he/she is back.
When you mix all the points above and add this one, it will be the final nail in the coffin.
This act of naughtiness will keep the fire burning. The playfulness, the moments you both share laughing will in fact land you a romantic paycheck.